Paradoxical isn't it.

normally waiting for things to transpire causes a lot of angst and agony for me. By nature I am impatient. I already know that, don't have to keep realizing that about myself, and I never pray for patience because I don't want to have the trials of having to learn patience. In spite of this, God is teaching me to have patience anyway. I have spent the last three years since I graduated from college sort of floating around without any real direction. The direction I thought I was going in didn't pan out, for various and complicated reasons. I never really had a plan B so this left me mildly distraught when I actually sat down and thought about it.
Lately though, doors have been flung open for me. Clear indications of how to proceed. I am starting my Master's Degree this fall in Community Development at Eastern University. I didn't realize this, but my mom just told me that Eastern is the number 1 school in the country for Community Development! A fact she learned from a friend whose child was doing college research.
Currently my job is exceedingly boring and not challenging and at several points in the last year I tried looking for and applying for new jobs. However, things have shifted some because my work offers a tuition reimbursement program, and is generously contributing toward my Master's Degree. This is so amazing. I prayed that I would at least get a scholarship to fund my education and not have to shoulder the entire burden myself. Not only did I get a scholarship, but the tuition reimbursement came through, and they cover text books too, and the time off that I needed for my classes in September was approved as working time off, and I get to stay with my roommates friend in Philly and drive her old car instead of rent one! I mean talk about open door!
However, I don't necessarily have a real clear picture of how I'd like to apply this degree. Even though I'd love to have a nicely laid out 20 year plan, I am Trusting God for that.
I am letting go of the need to control and have it all laid out. It is not easy for me but the more that I am able to do that, the more excitement I feel about what lies ahead contrast to the worry and stress of needing to have a plan of action.

Paradoxical isn't it.